You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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