took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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