Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
