Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Randomize
