All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
