i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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