I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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