you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
