Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
