after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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