i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
