I'm going to jail i love you
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
