I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
