And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
