so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Randomize
