The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
