Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
