Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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