Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
