I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
