She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
