It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
