Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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