She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Two words: blizzard sex
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
