I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
