TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
