I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
