His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
