Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
