i will never coherently bang her
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
