Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
