Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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