I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
