You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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