the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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