you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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