I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
