i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
