I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
