how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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