I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
