Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
