You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
