margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
