Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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