The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
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