I faked an abortion last night.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
