Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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