You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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