we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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