Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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